As childhood friends, we grew up together,
Swearing to be friends forever and ever.
Sometimes we would argue and fight,
Other times we would laugh and stay up all night.

We went from playing with games and toys,
To talking and dreaming about different boys.
My thoughts and feelings, to you I would confide,
Never having anything to hide.

Friends we do remain,
Things changing, and things staying the same.
To each other we still listen and share,
About each other, we will always care.

*Eyes*

I gaze into twin pools of warmth
Bright and sparkling
I see something indescribable
Something I can't quite put my finger on.

Twin pool, blazing and brilliant
Making all your sweetness
And all your compassion
Crystal clear.

Twin pools shimmering and glimmering
Showing how you're
Sweet, sensitive, caring and kind
Funny athletic cunning and friendly

Twin pools, so animated and intense
Help me to share
Your love of life,
Your life of love.

I gaze into twin pools of warmth and
I see the sweetest person I've ever met or ever will meet
I recognize a sincere and honest guy who can never be replaced
I realize you are so special because
When I look into your eyes
I witness a miracle, I find a friend.

*A Fairytale* 

Dreamland awaits you,
Close your eyes,

Imagine you and I,
Close as breath,

Skin upon skin,
Lips touching,

For you taste of Raspberries,
sweetly irresistible,

The fragrance of you,
Takes my breath away,

I am burning inside,
A torch of fire,

Burning fuel of passion,
For you are my desire,

My heart beats with every breath,
You are my destiny,

Your eyes evade me,
deep, dark, mysterious,

I am your slave,
Your love has captured me,

Grab my body,
Pull me close,

Show me your love,
In ways I could only dream.

Wake me I must be dreaming,
This is a fairytale.

*Into Every Life* 

She looks into air, herself falling rain
Dripping coldness past, memories old pain.

Drops fall, the puddling her damp water-life.
Spiraling a mirror, self-lonely strife.

A sigh, one frown, crying soft saddened tears.
Storms of remember - through bleak yesteryear.

Clouds a-whorl, dark sky sheltering fair heart.
But how can she joy, while taking no part?

Cov'ring cold soul, corona of defense.
Defying the stab of her fate's intents.

This is madness, she thinks in plaintive cry.
I'm here, on the cusp, of lay down and die.

What my destiny, but an empty-off dream?
A plaything with which gods and angels scheme.

Am I doomed then to live, time never-free?
Subsumed wholly 'neath life's scattered debris?

Is justice, outside this torrential doubt?
Perhaps more than sorrow, painful fall-out?

Is love, perhaps, just a sliver of sun?
Shining through mists, revealing Avalon?

Personal paradise, which I can own,
Evoking happiness, hither unknown?

She raises from streets of lonely no more.
Light slicing through darkness, hopes washed ashore.

Her withered gait now straightening with pride.
She glides like an angel 'cross future's tide.

Belief in life renewed, no, only found.
Footsteps echoing, a cadence of sound.

Caressing the ground, sing the beat of her heart.
Into the sun seeking love's brand new start.

*Portal* 

Standing on the outside,
looking in.
Afraid to knock
on the door in front of you.
How many times have
you stood at the threshold
but been too scared to cross?
What is it you fear?
The unknown lies ahead.
What awaits you on the other side?
Only one way to find out.
The door swings open,
Will you enter?

*A Book Of Memories* 

Hidden in the attic,
all the way upstairs,
is something very special,
that I would like to share.

My hopes,
my dreams,
old photographs,
of good times and bad times that make me laugh.

The joy of a hug,
the thrill of a kiss,
leaves me to remember the pure, simple bliss.

I cry for the fun,
and giggle for the pain,
I enjoyed the good life I was able to maintain.

The thoughts and wishes,
they all stay with me,
all of these contained in my book of memories.

*Ode To My Killer* 

Before you shoot, look into my eyes,
Can you see the same fear you feel inside?
You may see me as someone who has it all,
But I have the same fears and hesitations after all.

I know your pain and what is tearing at you,
For I have the same self- conscious feelings too.
So before you shoot look deep and you may realize
You see a lot of yourself in my eyes.

Before you shoot, think and feel what would it be like,
To be on the other end of my strife.
Will taking from me ease your pain?
Or can we deal with this maybe some other way.

Before you shoot come into my heart,
Think of all your tearing apart,
My life is in your hands its true,
Do you really want this consequence tearing away at you?

Before you shoot or think that thought,
Tell me of your pain and what youve sought.
Maybe youll find someone youll treasure
You never gave me a chance to show what I have to offer.

I can only ask these things and its all up to you,
I have no power, which is what you wanted to do.
So now that youve got what you wanted to do,
Please think of these things before you shoot.

*My Perfect World* 

bright shining lights
smiling faces
laughter
music

peace and love
timeless space
deep midnight conversation
meaningless chat

my friends close by
to need and be needed
to help and be helped
to listen

my perfect world
exists in me
you're welcome to visit
to stay
pull up a chair
and together
we can see it through

*Poison* 

Words that need to be spoken should not accumulate inside.
The hurt, pain or jealousy a person feels can not hide.

Sorrow and anger can be and will be suppressed.
But this only leads to a person feeling depressed.

Anger is a deadly toxin in which the body it flows.
When it takes over limb by limb, everyone knows.

The body - The mind controls and manipulates.
As the poison enters the veins and circulates.

When the poison reaches the heart it's too late.
Disastrous emotions take over such as revenge and hate.

The antidote to cure these emotions, is not so hard to find.
We must search to learn to control our spirited bodies and minds.

*Perception* 

There is many a time
You seem to read my mind.
But in the end
You can't know what I intend.
Your view of my actions
Are clouded by your past attachments.

Your memory guides your comprehension.
If only you could change the definitions.
Erase the imprints on your heart.
Make a new start.
Allow me to ease your misery.
Let us make our own new history.

*The Moment* 

One perfect moment
Can never be repeated
Only remembered

*Do Not Judge* 

Do not judge me by my outer appearance.
But look deep into my soul.
For it is there that you will see who I am.
Our bodies are but cases
that protects our heart from physical pain.
But it cannot protect us from words.
Think before you speak words that
will cause a heart to hurt.
And if you love someone,
surround that heart gently with caring.
A loving heart is given completely,
in trust and faith
that it will be guarded for all time.

*Perfection* 

Have we been deceived?
The sweet scent of temptation, intoxicating as it may seem
The shell is so simple
Yet the deep inner core ever elusive sadly proves to be

When will this slow realization, this pure revelation break forth
and bless my eyes?
When will this enlightening wisdom permeate my thoughts,
when can these actions
enrich other's lives?

The anticipation of impossible transcendence
This profound longing for the transformation
The ascendance from finite to infinite
Haunts me through every waking thought

How much longer must I wait?
Dear God, I implore you, insatiable as my beseechment may seem
Please let my weary soul have the strength
To shatter these shackles, please let your imperishable truth set me free

Would time and space meld into one?
Would there be room to learn and grow?
Would my emotions cease to be?
What creature would I then become?

Have I been deceived?
The sweet scent of perfection, intoxicating as it may seem
The shell is so simple
Yet the deep inner core ever elusive sadly proves to be

This equivocation of perfection, this paradox consumes me

*I saw you Crying* 

I saw you

You were crying

I wanted to reach out to you and hug you

But I knew you wouldnt let me

I wished you could have told me what was wrong

I wished that I had the courage to ask

I wished I could have done something

But

I didnt

*The Past* 

The past holds many secrets
better left untold . . .
For to bring them to the present
its bitterness unfolds . . .

The memories we cherish
may be tarnished by its gloom . . .
Its darkness and its sorrow
is to what we are doomed . . .

There is no need relive the past
for to do so is in vain . . .
Yesterday's gone, today is here
why relive the pain . . .

Forget the past as you turn away
and wish it a farewell . . .
For no longer in the past
will your present dwell . . .

*The Expressions Of Life* 

There are a million facial expressions
each with it's own meaning:

The teary-eyed of ashamed confessions
which can cut the deepest

The sadistic grin can give you the shivers
it can expose what's really within.

The frown of a beautiful face,
it can bring tears to my eyes.

But there is one I cannot place -
Love, there is no expression,
just a feeling of being complete.

It's the only true cure for depression
but the best expression is a passionate kiss
It can take away all your pain
and leave you in heavenly bliss

*Risk* 

There are no guarantees
Life throws things at you
You can catch or miss them
But they will come, ready or not

I always looked for the real thing
Never trusting in the possibility
Risk-taking not my forte
Staying safe at all costs

Even playing it safe is not certain
Safe has hurt me
Zero risk gets zero gain
Sometimes playing it safe costs you more

It has me,
In not fighting the battle
you may lose the war
In not believing in a dream
You may never sleep peacefully again

So let go of the fear
Reach out for the flame
So what if you get burned
Better that then numb for life

Better to remember passion and joy
Along with the pain and tears
Then to have no memories worth
Remembering

So to hell with safe
I am going to gamble and bet
Until I win back everything I lost
And my life is what it was meant to be

*Words* 

Words don't hurt.
The person saying them does.
Just seeing where it is coming from
is like taking a sword
and stabbing it into me chest.

Then when I realize
the feelings that go along with the words.
I picture you
turning the sword inside my chest.

Then with every drop of blood dripping out,
I have to remind myself that
they are only words.

*Shine On* 

Don't look back at all those times you failed -
They are in the past
And can not be changed.

Don't look back on the painful losses -
They were not meant to be anyway.

Don't look back and cry over lost time -
For you are just wasting more time
and contradicting yourself.

Don't look back on everything you didn't get -
Focus on what you have
And how blessed you are to have them.

Don't look back and regret falling in love -
You enjoyed it while it lasted.

Shine on and don't look back.

*Distant Heart* 

Flowing spirit takes control
Leading me astray.
Distorting all my thoughts.
Emotions runaway.

Why do I perform
Upon life's envious stage?
Is it all a game?
A dance within a cage?

Am I full of anger?
Torn and insecure
Not knowing good from bad
Some inborn fatal flaw?

Pain from pleasure haunts me.
Guilt drives away the glow.
The world screams lessons at me
And yet I still dont know.

*Sleepless Night* 

A sleepless night
Spent struggling
Through the meanders of my mind
In endless explorations.

Innumerable considerations
Scattered around
As stars in the sky
None with enough light
Of its own
But adaptable
In their interconnection
To show me the way.

The harmony of the universe
Confined for a moment
in the boundaries of my head
explodes in its beauty.

The thirst for knowledge
Has kneeled
At my need of sensations.

Bittersweet memories
Erase all the powerful thoughts
Leaving a proven soul
Sighing in an exhausted body.

The dread of the night
Has subsided
And a sudden warmth
Has overtaken me.
While the first sunbeam
Sneaks through the window
I remember how to sleep.

*The Song*

Dreams of you are long gone,

it's just another sad love song.

You'll hear it on the radio

And think that girl was too young to go.

Never imagine you putting me there,

you will be clueless- so unaware.

My dreams will be dead, my heart left alone,

You will call me... get just a dial tone.

You will want me as soon as I'm gone,

You will have realized, I'm what you needed all along.

But you see, I have died- I couldn't take it anymore,

You broke my heart, more than once, my heart you tore.

I just couldn't take it... no more sad love song for me,

And it's when I'm dead that you will finally see.

It wasn't all about you, I needed so much more,

It was just that you were what I thought I was singing for.

*Judgement Day*

Today is the day,

That we get judges.

We're being judged,

With the past,

Not the present.

Today is the day,

We get sent,

To heaven or hell.

Something I did,

Long ago,

Sends me to hell.

I beg of them,

To let me stay,

There with you.

Yet they just,

Send me down,

To the hot, dark pits,

Of hell.

You got to stay.

You got everything,

You ever asked for,

Or ever wanted.

Yet you gave it all up,

To be with me.

To prove your love true,

You went to hell,

To be with me.

*Alone*

Alone is how I feel when there is no one

there to love me, no one who seems to care.

So many have had the opportunity, but they

all turn me down.

Tears wash over my face as I wish for someone

to hold me, caress me, love me.

I feel so alone.

Emptiness now consumes every living part of me.

The agony of trying to make something out of

nothing is spiraling me constantly closer to

insanity.

I can no longer feel.

I am alone.

*A Chance*

I know I may not be

the kind of person you're looking for

but I'll make up for that, baby

I can give you so much more

I may not look like

I belong on TV

but look and see

the good inside of me

I know if you just

get to know me more

you'll see how I truly am

you'll see me for sure

I want you, baby

I want to be in your arms

You know how I feel for you

Why can't you feel the same way too

Maybe it's how I look

Maybe it's how I act

But I know I can make you happy

I know that for a fact

If you don't feel the same

My heart will break, but will mend

Because I love you with all my heart

My love for you will never end....

*Crying Angel*

As you look into her window,

you see her sitting there

looking at herself in the mirror,

tears falling from her beautiful brown eyes

onto her rosy red cheeks.

She seems to have lost her ability to love.

She once knew how it felt to love and to be loved,

but as she awoke in the middle of the night, crying...

It's gone, it's gone, it'll never come back.

Just like that scary dream,

her whole feeling of love was gone,

vanished into the dark hazy night,

never to come back.

Not understanding why a beautiful angel

isn't capable of loving...

How can that be?

Is it possible that she loved someone too much?

No one will ever know

how she became known as a Crying Angel,

but now every time you come across her,

she will be sitting in front of her mirror, crying,

praying love will come back to her.

She is tired of being a Crying Angel.

*Nameless*

I gave my self to you completely

Never once did I say no to

your sweet embrace

I said yes to your touch

To your kiss

To us

I once said no and the tables turn

Now I am the one hurting you

and what you want

I know you must feel betrayed by my actions

I turned you away after all you did for me

You were lovin me for me,

that I realize

But it's impossibe

for it all to be

It's over

gone

the

End

*Let Me*

Let me do what I want to do
Let me know what I want to know
Let me think what I want to think
Let me go where I want to go

Let me love who I want to love
Let me dream what I want to dream
Let me feel what I want to feel
Let me scream when I want to scream

Let me smile when I want to smile
Let me cry when I want to cry
Let me live when I want to live
Let me die when I want to die

*Mesmerized*

You could always bring a smile to my face

and make me laugh no matter how bad it got

I loved to be around you and stand up close

Your smell would hypnotize me in a second

To feel your skin up close against mine,

To have your hands on my body, and

Your lips upon mine, would be the sweetest

dream in my mind

Reality clicks in

I was bout to cry, over you leavin me

But then you placed your hands up on my skin

It felt so good, Your fingertips creepin down my shirt

No regrets, I crave for more of that

Sinful touch

*Frustations In Life*

Never thought it would be so tough growing up
Sometimes, I just want to give up
But there is always a little voice,
Inside of me to cheer me up

I guess life ought to have
Tough times
But eventually hard times will bring you
Happy times
It just depends on how you look at it

Things tend to happen for a reason,
Which is hard to see at first time
You won't see it unless you go seek
Sometimes it takes time to see it,
But most of time all it takes patience

Be patient, and tough times will pass
Rainbows are hard to be seen,
Unless it stormed recently.
Everything will be sunny soon.
Just be patient

*My Heaven* 

 look deep in your eyes.
I see there what I feel inside.
We share something between us,
Neither one of us can hide.

I feel your lips touch mine,
I loose all my control,
All it took was a look and a kiss,
To know you were part of my soul.

I see your hands on my skin,
I want and need you to do more,
The passionate look you give me,
Tells me heaven is in store.

I feel your need against my thigh,
I know you will fulfill every wish,.
We were made to fit together,
And all it took was a look and a kiss.

I look deep in your eyes,
And I see heaven there inside,
You make me feel so beautiful,
What I feel for you I cannot hide.

*Little Box*

You force me into this little box with all the arguments you throw at me

Only when you can learn to listen to the words that I speak will we reach a level of understandment,

Until then you will continue to force me in to this little box where I tear my self apart

about who I am and the life which I lead

It isn't right

You've sheltered my life enough now

it's time you give me room to grow and

become my own person

I can't bear to live this life another moment

locked up tight for another night

unable to express my true emotions freely

So please, I'm begging you

give me the keys to get out of this box...